You’re a good guy, mon frere. That means brother in French. I don’t know how I know that. I took four years of Spanish. I figured out a way to make money while I’m working! What’s gotten into you? Have you been eating cheese? Hahahahah! Turns out he ended up getting too friendly with the teddy bear.

Cinque Terre, Italy

I see you’ve wasted no time in filling my seat hole. A night of heterosexual intercourse. Ann, you need to decide whether you want a man or a boy. I know how I’d answer. Sure, let the little fruit do it. HUZZAH! My brother wasn’t optimistic it could be done, but I didn’t take “wasn’t optimistic it could be done” for an answer.

Galapagos Islands, Ecuador

Say something that will terrify me. Lindsay: F*** me. Tobias: No, that didn’t do it. Obviously this blue part here is the land. Ohhh little guy. The tears aren’t coming. The tears just aren’t coming. Whenever she’d change clothes, she’d make me wait on the balcony until zip-up, and yet anything goes at bath time.

Scala dei Turchi, Italy

Scala dei Turchi, Italy

I see you’ve wasted no time in filling my seat hole. A night of heterosexual intercourse. Ann, you need to decide whether you want a man or a boy. I know how I’d answer. Sure, let the little fruit do it.

Algarve, Portugal

Algarve, Portugal

Wow. We’re just blowing through nap time, aren’t we. I’ll be in the hospital bar. You know there isn’t a hospital bar, Mother. Well, this is why people hate hospitals.